not running again yet

Patience. Patience. Patience. Shin still not 100% as of yesterday. Took saturday off exercise completely (did gardening). Did three bouts of exercise biking yesterday. Another hour of exercise bike this morning, then 10 minute jump rope and a bit of balance work and trying to strengthen my shin muscles. Should do this more often… need to do more of the core work and all that stuff. Will try running again Wednesday morning. Treadmill first, and then build from there. Maybe trail Saturday morning… Friday morning if everything works well. No doubles… no too much too soon rubbish that I did last Wednesday. I’m getting very tired and impatient with all of this time not spent running.

cross training is boring

still cross training. christ it's boring. exercise bike and weights and core stuff two or three times a day. will probably have to cross train through the weekend as well 'cause I can still feel some pain in the shin and I want to be pain free before I start running again.

I'm getting closer to confirming all of the details of a trip to Kenya for a month to train in september at a training camp in Iten, just outside of Eldoret. I have a place booked for the month of september, and I'm close to paying for the flight (about $1,600 after taxes and fees via the might british airways).

• High Altitude Training.
• Kenya.
• Looking over the Rift Valley.
• With fast people showing me how to run better.
• A whole month solid focused training.

That should help me improve and help me move towards breaking 2:30...

...and I downloaded a swahili course from my local library today so I can start learning the language so I won't look like a complete foreign idiot when I get out there.

la dee dar... lungs and heart enjoyed the effort, shin not so happy

must learn restraint... turned up to track last night after 4 in the morning and 4 at lunch... which was the first bit of running since my post london rest. planned to only do jogging, but once the workout started (relegated to the trail cause of girls playing footy on the pitch in the middle of the track) i couldn't help but put in a decent pace and clean out the tubes. the heart and lungs were so willing, and it felt great to go out and push it... but my shin started to react a bit on the way back in along the bike trail.

so no running today or tomorrow and icing. probably pushed it a little too much a little too soon. must show restraint over the next week and a half to get it fixed properly.

started running again 10 days after london, start training again next week

And so it starts again… put in a gentle 4 this morning, and again this lunchtime. Everything is dc and the burbs of Virginia is green and warm and it feels like a damn perfect time for running. I’m not going to do anything other than just running about aimlessly until next week. I think I’ll put together a more specific 24 week schedule leading up to New York on the 5th November. It’s quite fun working out what changes I’m going to make to my training schedule, and planning it all out. I think I’m going to be very strict about adding in 4 weights sessions a week, and 3 core sessions. Going to make sure that at least one day a week is a very light recovery day with nothing more than 6 in the morning… even if I feel like more and feel fine, I think this’ll help my body more. Need to set up some sort of routine taking of my resting pulse as well to have advance notice of overtraining. I think I’ll start using my heart rate monitor for some workouts as well. I’ve not used that thing for over a year and a half and it could be beneficial for workouts when I’m on my own and need to stay focused. Going to try adding a bit more protein into the diet via Tofu and fish (tuna of course). During foundation training be strict on the down weeks – every 4th week down to 90miles or less if I want the other 3 weeks to be over 130. Seems like a decent exchange.

Thinking about running in the Fairfield Half Marathon in late June, and then the local rileys rumble half marathon towards the end of July… then going off to train and see the world a bit (quite possibly, if I can sort it all out, Iten, Kenya) for the month of September… then parents visiting in October, then New York Marathon in November. Just have to do everything I can to avoid any big injury, and look after myself enough so that any injuries I do get (inevitable really) are small and I deal with them before they get close to serious…

Lots of planning. Looking forward to getting back out for 12 miles on the trails sometime next week. Might do the full slr if my shin doesn’t hurt at all from now through Saturday morning. Will keep icing even though it doesn’t hurt at all now.

It’s so sunny outside, and not too hot yet… start working on my running tan… dot dot dot

back in dc, ready to begin training again

back back back in dc after my 10 days in the UK. Definately feel quite rested and glad to have gotten away from the strain of daily life in dc. marathon done and glad to have been able to drop the stress of being injured and a race out of the way... there was quite a lot of stress due to the lack of time and the injury... and it's good to let all that go. I have put on a few (many) lbs. Lots of great food back at home, lots of eating out beyond the point I was full, lots of cadburys and lots of chocolate hobnobs and quite a bit of booze. All full and ready to begin slowly ramping up the training to building up my base again. The only thing getting in the way of me getting back to running is the injury to my right shin. I can still feel it a little and so am going to give it through to wednesday and try running on the track a bit before building back up to decent base mileage in a couple of weeks time.

everything has turned so damn green since i left dc... it's all just gone summer in the space of a week and a half. no more blossom at all. temperatures not too bad yet. I can't wait to get running on the trails towards the end of the week. want to give my right shin as much time as possible to get it fixed right.

have signed up for the new york marathon. hopefully there'll be no problems getting a place with my submitted time. will book a hotel in New york once I've got confirmation of a place. going to take it reasonably easy for another week - exercise bike twice a day and maybe some basic weights stuff - start ramping up the training next week. I've not run for 8 days and done very little exercise and I'm starting to get the bug again.


glad to have gone home. saw loads of people... relatives old and new, friends from university and hockey and old flatmates and spent time with mum and dad and sister. as much as I have a great set-up here regarding a great home and trails and great places to run and loads of local races and good food and decent weather and a job to support it all... Something doesn't quite feel right being back. i might just be missing the running...


couple of pictures cause, why not? me and libby - my cousin anna's daughter and m&d at the national stud in Newmarket, where we went for my mum's birthday...

report on the london marathon...

I’m disappointed, but I ran a personal best. Work that out.

Got into London Thursday morning, and spent Thursday sorting out visa stuff and getting bib(s) and chip and got a 3 mile run in that evening, Friday went for a 3 mile run with my sister, and Saturday put in a gentle 4 miles… ate bad food during this time, and wasn’t disciplined enough with my diet… especially Saturday night when the overwhelming desire to consume bad food somehow beat out the knowledge that I had a marathon the next morning… I’ll run it off… I need the fuel… won over. I should learn from the mistake.

Sunday morning got up and ran a couple of miles around 5:45am and did a bit of stretching: trying to wake the system up. Got the overland to Blackheath – got into the best marathon pre-start setup I’ve ever had – the AAA British Marathon Championships set up at London has it own enclosure, covered tent with water and tea and coffee and lucozade… separate toilets out back… posh ones with sinks and mirrors and working plumbing. I’m doing London next year based off of how well they treated this group of semi elites. Got walked to the start and put right next to the elites, but ahead of the masses behind us (who were marshalled to actually stop them from crushing us and the elites.. I felt special…)

Rainy and cool weather. Lord Seb Coe (about 10meters to my right) started the race and then it was fairly bunched and clustered for the first 5 miles or so. Wet, but my shoes (brooks racers – version 4 I think) didn’t have any problems except around cutty sark which was quite slippery. There were a couple of really gentle hills, so it wasn’t completely flat, but mostly flat all round. I felt fine through 10, then started to fall apart at 12… felt dreadful at the half and started to get slower and slower… 15 I was in a bit of a purple patch. By 18 I was feeling better and pushed through to a decent time at 20miles. I was almost bang on my time at 20 as in Chicago 6 months ago. At the half I hit 1:17:&change and this was really clocking it compared to my other marathons. After 20 my thighs were fairly shot and it was an effort to keep my stride open. My right shin (problem from the last 5 weeks) started to tear open and so the last 6 miles were quite painful as each mile the muscle tear would get worse and worse. Every now and again it would jar when I hit down with my right leg (one downhill section was a bit unpleasant). But I kept trying to keep my form light and keep the impact of my feet on the ground as smooth as possible. I think the adrenaline helped take a lot of the pain off as well. From mile 13 I start to have stomach and bladder problems but managed to hold off actually until the finish. There was a couple of times when I thought I needed to fix the problem pretty desperately, but it was merely discomfort, and I don’t think it cramped me up enough to affect my running.

The last 6 miles were actually alright. The crowds were great and I knew I had enough in me to keep kicking out reasonably solid mile times. Tried to kick as much as possible in the last 2 miles and over took a handful (maybe 20…?) in the last two miles. Really kicked for the last 800 meters. And…

2:38:43. A new personal best by 35seconds. It seems silly to have put in so many huge mileage weeks to only score a personal best by 30odd seconds. But, considering I was injured 5 weeks ago and didn’t think I could run the race today… and I was able to run it and complete it and complete it well. That’s a plus. Considering I didn’t run for 3 weeks which were when I would have pushed my sharpening phase and thus got my body to be happy running 5:45s or 5:50’s efficiently…. I missed out on that so I know I have a huge room for improvement if I avoid injury and get through a full marathon training with all of the phases of training completed correctly. I also put on quite a bit of weight while injured, and in the last week before the marathon, and if I was 10lbs lighter going into a marathon I’d give myself such a greater chance of getting around in the time I want. I was really close to my racing weight right when I got injured and I do lack the discipline to keep my weight down when injured or when not running 100+ weeks. The weather today was close to perfect… I was a bit cold from about mile 20 onwards, but it was still, slightly damp (enough to cool you off), overcast, about mid-40’s… all helped me today. There was also always a bunch of guys nearby to tack onto to help pull me along. Or in the last 5 miles, guys to pick off one by one to keep me focused on putting in a fast finish. And I had people looking out for me, and me looking out for them, at mile 13, 15, 18, 22, 25 and the finish and that really helped break up the race. I finished 183rd (I think) and hopefully that places me well in the UK Marathon championships. I feel like I deserved to be in the special UK championships race and will 100% aim to do this race again next year to try and improve. I think I could get down to 2:30 form in 12 months time… and that, for the next 365 days, is my goal. But for now, I’m going to have some ice cream and spend the next 7 days resting my shin… (it’s already had icing and vit I)… lots of cycling around the british countryside and walking the dog through the fields. Lots of chocolate hobnobs. Fish and chips at some point.

So… yes, my goals are now so high for myself that a 30second PR and running a marathon in 2:38 really doesn’t seem like a success… but knowing the injury trouble I had, and not running for 3 whole weeks out of the last 5 weeks of training, I knew at the startline that all I could do this morning was my best… to give all of what my fitness would allow there and then. I think this morning was fairly close to that. Considering the condition I turned up to the start line in… I think I did close to my best. So it’s not all doom and gloom.

I may never be happy…. Until I break 2:30.

all about resting and sorting out my mind before the race

put in an easy 7 last night, and an easy 6 this morning. my legs (thighs mainly) are definitely a little beaten up, but will be fine by sunday. I feel quite sluggish. I ate a lot of fruit last night. Hopefully will get in a run of sorts tomorrow night after my travel. Only 3 runs to go until race day. Going to get me some nyquil or something that'll help me sleep on the plane. I can't aford to have a complete night without sleep 3 days short of a marathon I guess. I have to go straight to the US Embassy to do visa things so won't have a chance to just go to bed when I land... so I'm on a mission to get as much sleep as possible on the flight. Have my hooded top and a cap to block out as much sound and light as possible. Going to upload some sleepy type music to my nano to listen to on the plane. Going to try and avoid watching a movie and eating airline food... discipline.

paul tergat just pulled out of the london marathon this morning. sucks for him and sucks for the marathon. I guess even athletes who are close to being super human get injuries. good thoughts. positive thoughts. i think i'm in great shape. i think I can run a pr. I've trained myself silly over the last 26 weeks and have run more and faster and raced more and raced faster than ever before. Hopefully all of the hard work, the removal of rubber from the sole of my running shoes one molecule at a time, the opportunity cost of not doing stuff instead of all of the running... the 20mile runs each and every week, the pushing myself at the end of local races just thinking that to work harder then would put me in better shape for london... all of that work and effort... i hope it all pays off in london.

28 - weeks of training since the chicago marathon at the beginning of last october...
~2859 - miles run
51 - number of runs 15 miles or more
16 - number of runs 20 miles or more
4 - days to go. crikey.

5 days til london

just put in a solid 8 miles with a bit of marathon pace stuff and a bit slower. 8 miles in just over 50minutes. concrete and mildly hilly - felt nice to be able to push the pace and not be worried about falling apart. solid. nice out too - just shy of 60 and sunny. solid. easy run tonight, another easy run tomorrow morning (8 or 10 - see how i'm feeling). 5 days til london.

6 days to go. solid weekend of running. getting fired up for London

Listening to the boston marathon and following the 5k splits of people I know running… gets me all excited for london in 6 days time.

Ran without significant problems over the weekend and so consider myself back after the injury. Just in time to run London with some positive mental stuff going on. Banished thoughts of injury as far as I can tell. It was a bit of kill or cure for every run in the last week, but I put in a long warm up and a solid 12 mile concrete run with the slr boys at a far clip, 4 recov Saturday pm, 14 slow but long Sunday morning, and 4 recov Sunday afternoon, and then 6 to 6.5 easy this morning. Will put in another 4 this afternoon recov, and then 8 tomorrow morning with 2 or 3 fast just to clear out my pipes and give the legs one more go at some fast running before letting it all recover and taper and relax through to the race on Sunday morning. Feeling pretty good. Maybe I’ve just had the perfect taper? I’m thinking I can do reasonably well in London… I’m motivated to be able to finish the race knowing I’ve done my best and, on that day, couldn’t have tried any harder or given any more. I want to be able to say I gave my all and couldn’t run any better on that day in those conditions… and as long as I can say that, then whatever time I run is the time I run I guess…

Getting more and more motivated every day. And also excited to be going home.

swimming and weights work and 6 miles on the trails

6 miles on the trail this morning. Shin was a bit tight. Legs tired after weights and exercise bike yesterday and 45minutes of swimming in the evening. The shin is definitely not 100%, and I have to keep mentally aware of that so I don’t just try and slide back to the sort of training I was doing before the injury without a decent period of build up again.

Just listened to a description of the London course by Hugh Jones on runnersworld.co.uk. Obviously, while runnersworld US goes nuts about Boston this coming Monday, runnersworld UK is going nuts about the London marathon in 9 days time. I need to find some quality time to sort out all the positives from my last 25 weeks of training, and my fitness level, and generally get in a decent frame of mind about the race… banish all those bad thoughts that are in there from the injury and ‘bump in the road’ during my training schedule. I think most of what I can do in the next few days is get my body used to running again, and just get my mind where it needs to be.

154lbs this morning. I’d like to be 151 or less for the race, so I’ll just have to be very careful of what and how much I eat – I’ve been doing that all this week, but need to keep focused and disciplined for the next 9 days.

Plan to turn up to the club long run tomorrow, but when they go off along the concrete hills of Arlington and whatnot, I think I’m going to put in 13 on the softer C&O canal path… which is also flat… and flat is good. Booya.

6 miles on track last night - 8 miles on trail this morning

okay... things really are looking better now than a week ago. I turned up to track last night instead of swimming and did a little bit of faster pace running and also a good amount of just casual jogging around the track warming up and cooling down. felt great to be out running again... with people. damn great feeling.

As per Einstein’s recommendation, I held back and only did 8 this morning on the trails. It had rained over night and i started really late (7am) but the trails felt good and i got a little bit of a sweat on. Running felt a bit weird at first. Just getting back used to the motion of it. Also thinking far too much about it and not able yet to take my mind away and let the stride sort itself out. But it felt just great and amazing and wonderful to be out in it breathing in the air clipping along through the dirt.

Came up on a couple of ethiopians who were just doing an easy run and we said our hellos. Nice enough guys, although running next to them they make me look heavy set and quite overweight compared to their slight builds. I asked if it was alright if I ran with them, they gave me a quizzical look, I asked if I could pace off of them, the taller guy said, sure, follow him, he'll pace you... and the shorter guy just took off looking back waiting for me to follow. So I followed and he dragged me through half a mile and up to the top of a hill when we high fived and he waited for his mate and I ran along. He made running look so easy. But it felt nice to clear out the tubes every so slightly.

I'll do another 8 on the same trail tomorrow... and then if that feels fine... I'll join in with the hilly and concrete based 14mile slr this weekend. This planned is Einstein approved… Not the safest of choices: the safe choice would be to do 12 or 13 just out and back on the C&O canal cause it would be flat and soft... but I'd really like a run on concrete with other people to keep my mind on everything but the small details of running...

starting to think about London a little more vividly

Exercise biked this morning.
Then about 20minutes of stretching.
Exercise biked at lunchtime.
Then about 20 minutes of core exercises.

I feel exhausted today. Felt fine getting up, but only had about 6 hours of sleep I think. Was planning on swimming tonight but I'm going to turn up to the track workout instead and just trot around and stretch and pretty much do an extended warm up and warm down just to get some blood into my legs. Just like the treadmill, if I feel anything that might even turn into pain, I can stop and just get in my car and go home and sleep. It'll be good to see people and wish good luck to those who are going up to Boston for the marathon on Monday.

If the legs feel fine and not tight at all I'll probably put in 4X800's to clear out the tubes. I don't want to eff up my recovery, but if I could put in only 4X800's and then go home and ice, my mental outlook would be so much better. A little bit of risk, but a lot of reward.

Resting pulse was 44 when I woke up this morning. I had to take it twice. I don't think I've had it that low in a long long time. I guess it's a good sign I'm still in reasonable shape.

I'm beginning to think about London again. While on the exercise bike. While lying in bed. I don't feel so bad thinking about the splits I want to run, or the finish time. Or how hard the last 6 or 8 miles will be. Or how hard I'll gonna run. Or how much I want it. I sort of put those thoughts away for a while but I'm letting them creep back in...

If there is no reaction from my leg tonight, and no reaction when I wake up tomorrow morning, I’ll go out and do 6 miles on the trails. If there’s any tightness, I’ll cross train in the morning and do 6 on the treadmill at lunchtime to be extra cautious.

oh yes i did - 6 miles on a treadmill

[photo from dcrrc 2005 awards night.]

just ran 6 miles on the treadmill. oh yes i did. now, considering that three weeks ago running 140 miles plus in a week didn't really bother me, i guess I shouldn't be so chuffed. but i just ran 6 miles on a treadmill without my shin muscle giving out, and that makes me very happy. first time i've run that far without pain in about 24 or 25 days. doing all those happy things like taking ibuprofen, ice pack on it now. The shin felt a bit tight, and i was paying it far too much attention. but no pain.

Running 6 miles on a treadmill is insanely boring. Golds gym had nothing good on the telly (why would they? it's 1pm on a tuesday). If you lived in Minnesota and had a treadmill in your basement and could set up a telly and watch random dvd's... that might be less boring.

But back to the shin - it definitely reacted a bit. But the reaction was tightness rather than pain. Trying to sort out a Physical Therapy prescription/referral so that I can see a PT lady (Rachel Miller) tomorrow at 7:15am.

Cross Training tonight - bike for about an hour or so. And there's a picture at the top of this from the dcrrc awards night for the 25-29 mens category winners for the clubs snowball series of races. i don't add many photos. here's one. Fun. And games.

11 days to london... still don't know if I'm gonna line up at the start to try and race it

Going to try for 6 miles on the treadmill this lunchtime. It’s a glorious day, so I’d prefer to be outside… but outside in the burbs means concrete so treadmill it is. If my leg starts to get painful I can also stop without having to walk home from wherever I am on my 6 mile loop. I’d put my chances of running in London at about 40% right now. I’m over the disappointment – that bothered me for about the first two weeks. A couple of really dark days (for me anyway), but now I’m actually feeling really strong and fit and healthy. My body, aside from my shin, has had three weeks to recover from the high mileage training I was doing and is feeling rested and strong from the extra stretching and sleep and the extra few lbs of fat.

As soon as Boston happens this Monday I’ll probably get all bothered again. And then as london gets closer, I’ll get fidgety if I get to a point where I know I can’t run. I want to be able to put in about 4 or 5 runs between now and London to be able to be confident of the shin holding up through the race.

But if the shin can’t hold up to 6 miles this lunchtime, then that’s pretty much it… done and move on to other goals.

started running again - 4 miles sunday

it's another fine line... starting to run enough to do as much as possible to give myself a chance of actually running well in London, but also not reopen whatever damage there is in my right shin. Put in 4 easy miles on the treadmill yesterday. I was so focused on every bit of information my body was sending me it was hard to relax, and felt like it took forever. Never really got into a rhythm.

Friday night did 60miutes random on the exercise bike followed by 30 minutes of hills. pushed myself pretty damn hard doing the hills. 60second sprints on each of the hill section bits.

All saturday all i really did was cross-train and eat and rest in between. 3X60minutes random on the bike, 30minutes weights in the morning, 30minutes core exercise in the afternoon. Loads of stretching.

sunday morning - slept in and then hit Panera (hmmm… tasty panera bread) for brunch and checking on the world via t'internet. 30minutes exercise bike and then, here goes, 4 miles on the treadmill. started to feel a little something in the right shin towards the end, but that was it. No reaction from the shin all evening and a little bit of something in it this monday morning. Did 60minutes on the exercise bike, and will do another 60minutes on the exercise bike at lunch, and another 60minutes in the evening. Might hold off any more running until tomorrow morning, when I might try 4 to 6 miles on the trails.

I've put on a bit of weight - pretty much just lost whatever racing weight I'd gotten myself down to. Running-wise I'm obviously far from firing on all cylinders, but I feel like I'm gaining a lot of core strength and flexibility and strength in my legs. My resting pulse was 49 last night going to sleep so I think, fitness-wise, I'm maintaining fairly well. I could come out of this (running london or not) fitter and stronger and in a better position to train stronger... positive thoughts and all.

hmm. cross training as if injured

i've continued to cross-train, but mentally i've given up on London and consider myself injured right now. I've eaten lots of things I wouldn't have done if London was still on the cards, and have probably put on 5lbs-8lbs or so in the space of a week and a half as my body adjusts to not burning 5000 calories a day, and absorbs the fat consumed in a desperate attempt at survival. I've not run a mile since monday I think. I'm going to cross train on the bike and do some weights tonight, and then again two or three times on saturday. get up early, exercise bike, probably sauna cause they have one of those at the gym and i've not done that for over a year. then sunday have a go at a 4 mile run on the trails in rock creek. there's no pain at all in my right shin. but it was like that two or three times before... each time only running 2 or 3 miles would reopen whatever damage there was previously. if, for some strange unforeseen reason, this time it's fixed, then london might still be a possibility. but I've still not run properly for 3 weeks now. which feels like ages. don't know how much my fitness has regressed, but mentally i've lost all momentum I had. if I did find myself in good enough health to run london it would take a lot of mentally geeing myself up to do it well. I don't think I'd want to do it just to complete it. therefore it might be better holding off and picking a marathon in june or july and racing that instead. what do I know? not much.

nothing new really...

doctor thinks i shouldn't massage my shin myself - i've got a lot of bruising on my shin (trauma to the muscle as he called it) which i probably did myself... doctor doesn't have any particular new insights into what it could be. i guess it's hard to tell. chances are it's a tear in the muscle, or the muscle torn away from the bone. Either way, it needs rest. I'm going to buy a bag of ice every night on the way home from work... ice the leg a lot every evening from now until sunday. Sunday afternoon I'll try a gentle 6 mile run and if I feel pain then i'll have to make the decision to not do london. It's too close to london, i've lost my momentum, mentally don't feel as strong, physically will have lost the sharpness and training I'd built up. At some point, not racing in London and using this time to do "off season training" or whatever you call weights and cross training... and look forward to mid to late summer races and the new york marathon.

i hope it isn't compartment syndrome. a lot. thats how much i hope.

i just did a bit more research into compartment syndrome. this is a simple article on it from runners world. balls... i'm really hoping that it isn't that.

i would post a picture but it's just not for the squeamish, and that would include me. if you want to see what it looks like, click on this to see the results of a google image search on "compartment syndrome"

don't look if you don't want to see: skin cut open on both sides of the leg, quite a bit of tissue, and muscle, and blood, and in one picture, muscle pulled out of the leg and the bone.

i. really. hope. it's not that. deep breaths.

crikey

odds not looking good...

after continued rest (two and a half weeks without running properly now), cross training, excessive icing, NSAID's (i think thats right), stretching, a masseur, self massage (enough to really bruise my shin quite a bit), and generally focusing all of my thoughts and actions on trying to fix my shin, it's still not really improved. Managed a mile run this morning. Managed a very slow mile run this lunchtime after 40minutes on the exercise bike (so I was definitely warm).

No pain at first but then after about half a mile it starts to kick in and builds and starts to get to a point where it’s painful to run, and then keeps building and it just becomes a question of how much pain I really want to endure. Stopping and stretching for a minute allows me to then run another half mile or mile before I have to stop again... i initially thought it was anterior shin splints, and it still might just be that... a tear in the muscle maybe, or the muscle having torn directly off the tibia, and the bone scan ruled out a stress fracture. maybe compartment syndrome? If all of the swelling has gotten so bad I suppose that could be it? I just don't know. It's the first injury I've ever had since I started running properly (last two years or so) that had required this much layoff... and it's depressing that it's not fixing itself. Everything else I've asked of my body over the last year or so, my body has responded. I've fuelled it well. I've rested it. I've given it better food and less bad stuff (hardly drinking at all) and made sacrifices so that I can sleep more and spend more time with my feet up and in a certain way I feel a little bit let down.

Yep.. great... an injury shows that at least I'm pushing towards my potential. How do you know your pushing yourself towards your limits unless you fail on in a while. If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough. It just a huge disappointment. I wanted a time in London that would reflect how hard I'd worked and how much effort I'd put in. Chances are, I won't even be able to line up at the start. You can have as many positive thoughts as you want... setting future goals, seeing it as an opportunity to build up strength for summer training (starting to do a lots of weights as part of the cross training), learn how much I need to add weights and stretching and strides/exercises to my training in order to do the sort of mileage I want to do. I can use the disappointment to fuel my desire to run well in future races... and yes, it's only a race. it's only running. it's not like I've lost a leg in an accident and johnny will never play piano again. all this positive stuff, all of this looking on the bright side... doesn't mean i don't feel completely devastated right now.

pain still there

7 miles friday night.
2 miles saturday afternoon.
3 miles sunday morning.

all fairly painful. Shin feels like it's getting better... the pain goes away reasonably quickly after I've stopped running... hopefully thats not just the ibuprofen i'm taking. i'm back to a point where the pain moves up and down the anterior tibialis. With icing, there seems to be a specific part of the upper muscle that is sore, and when running the tightness and pain eventually kicks in a bit lower down (in the diagram, where the muscle gets thinner and crosses over the tibia). Cross training today and tomorrow and wednesday morning. Will try and get myself to a swimming pool too to add that type of work to my legs... read somewhere that kickboard stuff helps the shin muscles... flexibility/bloodflow, and the like.

Another doctors appointment on wednesday. I guess right now I'd like either a couple of cortisone shots to reduce the swelling in the muscle... or to be referred to a good physical therapist who can go to town on my shin with their knuckles and elbows and thumbs and just work whatever damage there is in the muscle out.

my chances of running london are probably about 60-40 right now. if I didn't improve at all in the next three weeks I just couldn't run it... unless maybe I was extremely overdosed on painkillers, which probably wouldn't be a great idea... probably result in a stress fracture if I ran on it and couldn't feel the pain. If I need to take the time to recover and then put in a couple of months worth of fast stuff to try and peak again, I could always shoot for the san fran marathon at the end of July... best I concentrate on fixing this in the next week and then i'll run london fast and this will all be in the past.